For the most part we tend to be very private and personal beings. Yes, there are the select few who share the personal details of their lives on a daily basis with people on the intense database that is the internet, but that is only a small portion of society…and even those people have their real secrets that aren’t shared with many. While keeping things to ourselves is oftentimes viewed as the “right thing to do,” is it really all that important? Think back to a hard time in your life. It could be anything. Didn’t you feel better after sharing your experience with someone? Maybe the person you shared with even went through a similar experience and you felt a sense of comfort and unity. We are all living this crazy ass thing called life together, so why not fight the struggles and celebrate the victories as one, collective family?
Now, I am not saying that you need to go up to every stranger you see and nail them with a five-hour life-story; all I am saying is that every once in a while, when you feel that familiar weight on your shoulders…open up to someone. It can be a close friend, a new friend, or a family member. Find someone that you trust and let them in. It doesn’t even have to be a physical person. Find a forum online, find a chat group, or even start your own blog. Releasing all that lies inside you, whether it is bad or good, is healthy and helps promote growth in various ways in the self. Share your success story to inspire others and share the scary stories that you hide deep within your soul to let others know that they are not alone. Think of all of the people who have posted videos of themselves online sharing their experiences with trauma that only inspired others to share their stories too, creating an entire database of love, support, and connection. The more that we share, the more that we will realize that we are not as alone in this world as we think we are. Consider the #MeToo Movement that was born within the past several years and Brave Miss World. For decades people felt alone, trapped, and most likely victimized by their experience with sexual assault. But as people began to stand up and tell the world of their experience, it banded an entire community of people together and they started to realize that they are not victims, but survivors. Think of all of the public speakers and social media influencers that have shared their stories of survival through racism, sexism, abuse, bullying, and every life experience under the moon. Their sharing wasn’t done under the impression that no other person has experienced something similar to what they have; their sharing was done in order to create that oh-so-wonderful feeling of unity between those in society.
A sense of community and a sense of unity is one thing that, as humans, we need to survive. Everyone wants to find “their people,” but how can we do that if we shelter ourselves? Yes, sharing parts of ourselves is scary because sometimes people come into our lives and we share the deepest parts of ourselves with them and then they just leave. But that is part of life, baby, and it is neither a failure nor a loss on your part–it is a victory and a lesson. Opening up takes immense courage and if you choose to do that and the person leaves, then look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I tried and that makes me fucking amazing.” The thing about life is that not everyone that enters it is meant to stay. Sometimes the ones that leave get to leave without getting a chance to know us; but, other times the ones that leave seem to walk away with a little too much of us. As unfortunate as it may feel, always remember that you are constantly growing and changing. That person may have gotten to know the person that you were while they were in your life, but that person will never know the person you have become without them–and let me tell you that that person will always be so much better than the first.
Opening up is a sign of great strength and a beautiful display of vulnerability, but one should most certainly be cautious with whom they share their souls with. If the situation arises where you do miss a red flag or the red flag is hidden by pseudo-green flags by an ultimate manipulator, then remind yourself that it is OKAY. People are capable of a great deal of love and kindness, but people also have deep capability of deception and abuse. Sometimes we trust the wrong people because we couldn’t see through their mask, but please remember that just because you were manipulated by a manipulator does not mean you are neither foolish nor weak…it means that you are human. Take what happened as a lesson, however you may shape that lesson, and use it for your growth. You are capable of so much more than you could ever imagine. Don’t forget to open up and share at your own pace too. There is no set time it should take you to “get over something” or be ready to move on. Everyone handles everything differently and handle your ‘baggage’ at a rate that is healthy for you.
The next time that you feel you shoulders hunching over with that familiar pain and you feel your chest ache in that way that can hardly be explained, find someone you trust or find any type of outlet and release that energy. Who knows, maybe that energy may be caught by someone else and transformed into something good for their soul. Every once in a while, share.
Always remember that you will be forever worthy of abundance, joy, bliss and love.
Young, Mixed, and Scholarly 